Umamiblog » Asinine

★ I’m moving!

Johnny-johnny — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 00:00:00 +0000

I’ve decided to leave Intergen and move on over to Provoke. It wasn’t an easy decision to make but the offer to work on Provoke’s new “Lirpa Loof” project was too good to pass by…

Provoke’s “Lirpa Loof” project works over Google’s new TiSP service which in turn was built upon the work of early inventor George Washington.

Wish me luck!

Update: Ok, I’ve had my fun
Do have a look at the date this post was written. Thanks for playing.

★ Search no more

Johnny-johnny — Tue, 29 Aug 2006 01:34:17 +0000

Just in case you needed, Wikipedia has a list of songs featuring cowbells.

It’s important stuff y’know. More cowbell!

★ I’m pretty sure its 2006…

Johnny-johnny — Mon, 03 Apr 2006 04:47:02 +0000

And yet we still have clients who are afraid their logo is going to get stolen from their website and think that a script which allows you to disable right clicking is an effective means to stop that from happening.

There are so many things wrong with that sentence (the least of which is it’s grammar).

*sigh*

Update: And clients asking for images to be sized to the 35mm film aspect ratio.

★ Securitas depot robbery

Johnny-johnny — Thu, 23 Feb 2006 02:32:48 +0000

Theives make off with an estimated £25 million and what can really only be described as one very calculated and well executed plan (read: financed).

Check it out at Wikipedia:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Securitas_depot_robbery

Basically, they kidnapped the branch manager by impersonating police officers while simultaneously kidnapping his family, again by impersonating police officers. Then with the right amount of motivation applied (ie. do what we say or say goodbye to your family) about 6 people got in and tied up 15 guards then made off with £25 million in bank notes. Surely that would weigh more than a few tonnes…

UPDATE: Looks like teh revised estimate for the cash they made off with is now somewhere in the £25-50 million range…

★ Ok then…

Johnny-johnny — Fri, 06 May 2005 04:59:38 +0000

You’ve got to be kidding me! Sarah and I recently opened an account with TSB. While they do have an Internet banking facility, it’s pretty simple. I decided to have a look at the source of their webpages and then I saw this:
TSB Bank HomeBank

You’ve got to be kidding me!!!

★ Maybe this qualifies for Bash.org

Johnny-johnny — Thu, 24 Mar 2005 05:58:56 +0000

Talking on MSN to an old school friend of mine who is doing his second tour in Afghanistan with the NZ Army when this we gem popped up:

john says: day off bro?
smurfro says: na im doing work and surfing at da same time
smurfro says: http://www.google.co.nz/search?q=where+is+osama

★ Dumbass #254

Johnny-johnny — Mon, 14 Mar 2005 02:24:34 +0000

I’m worried for the human race…

No really!

This moron has been ringing and txting my cellphone now for about 4 months. Its the same old thing: “Ring me”, “Hey, call me”, etc. I’ve even received a couple of phone calls from him where I quite clearly told him, ‘No, I’m not Wayne’, ‘No, this isn’t his phone’, ‘No, I don’t know him or his phone number’. Now, I would think that would be enough along with the non-answering of his txts for him to realise I’m not Wayne, surely.

Well, as it often happens, I was proved wrong. Listen to this lovely message he left me over the weekend. Now I have to warn you its not very ‘civilized’, but to further subtract from his intelligence he had to listen through a ‘Welcome to iVISION, please leave your name and number after the tone’ message:
[/media/dumbass.mp3] (1.2MB)

★ Ah, what?

Johnny-johnny — Thu, 10 Mar 2005 00:22:22 +0000

It seems as though every business is jumping on the guarantee bandwagon these days, last night I saw a McDonalds television advert proclaiming that if your fries aren’t hot at the counter, they will replace them… guaranteed.

To me that says “Up until now it has been ok to give you fries that weren’t hot, but now we guarantee it :D”. Seeing as the actual title of the product is ‘Hot Fries’, how can you guarantee in the voluntary sense or the word, that they’ll be hot? If they’re not hot, you don’t actually have a choice about replacing them. You just have to because that is what you said they were in the first place…sheesh.

The Consumer Guarantees Act states quite clearly that goods must match their description. In this case, we’re selling ‘Hot Fries’, the name of the product on the menu boards. So, by law, they must be hot.

Maybe I’ll start guaranteeing stuff I’m required to do so under law as well…
“We guarantee we won’t punch you when dealing with us”
“We guarantee we won’t steal your car”